@weinerdog4life: Surprise your family by quitting your job and becoming a coffee table.
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@Dawn_M_: I will take your secret to the grave. Unless I'm drunk and revealing it will make me popular.
@KKAlThani: Look, I might not take a bullet for you but I'd push someone else in front of you which is practically the same thing.
@Bagyants: MSNBC: Racist gets what he deserves! FOX: What's next, thought crimes? CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird
@Karissajem: Neighbors just got a pirate ship playhouse for their backyard. Drunk me has never been so excited.