@weinerdog4life: Surprise your family by quitting your job and becoming a coffee table.
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@1_swarthy_dude: [texting] HotGirl: Help me ace the Periodic Table test tomorrow? Nerd: Selenium Neodymium Neon Tungsten Darmstadtium HG: ? N: SeNd NeWDs
@daemonic3: FRIEND: I just found out my kid lost another tooth ME: Really? Which one? FRIEND: Katie ME: Wow, I didn't know your kid named his teeth