@weinerdog4life: Surprise your family by quitting your job and becoming a coffee table.
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@ohwrigley: Mommy? Does Barbie come with Ken? No dear, she comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken.
@KenJennings: DINNERTIME FOOD IDEAS FROM MY SON "Can we put Nutella on our salmon and call it salmonella?" This has been DINNERTIME FOOD IDEAS FROM MY SON
@brennadine: Pavlov's bell, but it's me reading an email that I think says winebar when it's actually webinar.
@markleggett: I'm on the powerlifting forums, trying to convince everyone that kissing another man before you bench gives you an awesome adrenaline boost.