@BertCarrillo: Surprise your girlfriend by hiding in her trunk until you're dead.
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@bourgeoisalien: Not to brag, but I have one of those metabolisms that I can eat anything I want and still get fat
@hello_saylor: A great vocabulary is such a turn on. A guy used the word "bifurcated" during a meeting and I almost threw my panties at him.
@MichaelTrying: Darwin is a genius. Just realized I'm attracted to women in glasses because I'm more likely to reproduce with a woman who can't see me well.
@TheBoydP: All I’m saying is if you wake up in the middle of the night to pee and see that it’s only 11:30pm, you might be getting old.