@bridger_w: Surprise your partner in bed by dying in your sleep
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@sirmunchie: For Valentine's Day my GF upped my life insurance policy. Unrelated, anyone know why there's a ticking sound coming from underneath my car?
@Nahdude83: I was thinking about robbing this sperm bank, but I think they've already seen me coming.
@nachosarah: when I see a girl tie a cherry stem with her tongue I put a whole fish in my mouth and pull out the skeleton then I leave with her boyfriend