@bridger_w: Surprise your partner in bed by dying in your sleep
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@JessiCanadian: 8 teens in the the garage. I hear the miter saw and drill going. I'm just going to sit back and let Darwin take care of things in there.
@amishschool: My doctor said I can get back to my college weight if I simply go for a brisk three hundred mile walk each morning.
@tinytittays: Driving with me is like being trapped in a tiny karaoke bar that doesn't serve booze and the worst singer won't get off the stage.