@WilliamAder: Surprised Scarlett Johansson didn't leg sweep Travolta, throw him over her should onto his back and put her foot on his throat.
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@thatUPSdude: Her: You didn't come to my Halloween party! Me: Yes I did Her: No, what were you? Me: A ninja Her: I didn't see you Me: Like I said "ninja"
@bossy_bootz: Me in my 20's: oh cool there's an after party Me in my 40's: oh cool this cardigan has pockets
@titusbb: I don't understand why people go to the gym all the time... everything there's so heavy.
@TheBoydP: I don’t understand how anyone could be a grave robber. How do you steal a six foot hole?