@WilliamAder: Surprised Scarlett Johansson didn't leg sweep Travolta, throw him over her should onto his back and put her foot on his throat.
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@Kyle_Lippert: "How'd you die?" "I got shot trying to save my fellow soldiers lives in war. You?" "I got trampled trying to save on a flat screen" "Oh.."
@daemonic3: Alex: A ship that has sunk What is my relationship? Alex: No sorry tha- [glares at wife] I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex
@KKAlThani: My best exit strategy: 1)Play my ring tone 2)Excuse myself 3)Yell "OMG! I'm on my way now!" & tell them my brother had a bad car accident.
@squirrel74wkgn: I'm just saying honey, if I sound like a cat throwing up hair balls the next day...it may be time to trim things up a bit.