@Spaziotwat: Survivor 1: "Help! I can't swim! I'm drowning!" Survivor 2: "I have a buoy, friend."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SirEviscerate: ME: *catches the bouquet* Yes! I'm next, losers! Haha! SOME RELATIVE: This is a strange funeral reception.
@Tommytoughstuff: [Date] "I'm going to use the restroom *leans over table* and I counted my onion rings, there's six."
@ArfMeasures: BOSS: Wow you made a killing on your first day ME: Thanks boss! BOSS: *puts hand on my shoulder* that's bad for a surgeon