@trevso_electric: "Sushi" is Japanese for "take a picture of this, white girls."
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@peachgrenade: My wife is not happy with some of the comments in the anonymous suggestion box I attached our bed.
@SkinnerSteven: I like my women like I like my coffee, passed through the digestive system of a cat
@TheTweetOfGod: America is the greatest country on earth at thinking it's the greatest country on earth.
@MatCro: ME: I'm off to that meeting BOSS: Forget something? M: Yes! [kisses boss gently on forehead] B: I meant your pen [whispers] but thank you