@hurlarious: Sweeping a woman off her feet is easy if you know karate
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@mrtruthandsoul: Breaking News: Scientists clone a new hybrid cantalope and cauliflower. "We call it the melon-cauli," says Dr. Noah Lot of OMG I'm so sorry
@david8hughes: "I'll take the Batmobile. Robin, you take the--" [Robin doing up laces] "The Batskates, yeah I know."
@patrickmarkryan: Two drivers crash into each other. They both finish writing their texts before getting out of their cars to inspect the damage