@MariyaAlexander: Swimming is my favorite recreational activity that's also a desperate attempt not to die
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@williamwanton: I love you Mario but you need to stop taking shrooms, breaking into haunted houses, and killing turtles! You have a dinosaur to take care of
@KattsDogma: "Eat me," said the noun "Say what?" said the verb. "Eat me," repeated the noun, word for word. "Uhh...okay." Verbatim.
@Ristolable: [First day of prison] "Hey man. Wanna be in our gang?" Sure, I'll call you. Just give me your cell number *gets stabbed*
@ThisOneSayz: *getting caught filling up neighbor's trash can* Omg Karen, I just looove your trash can! Where did you get it?