@MariyaAlexander: Swimming is my favorite recreational activity that's also a desperate attempt not to die
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@shariv67: When villainy didn't pay anymore, The Riddler got a job writing furniture assembly instructions for IKEA.
@TheMichaelRock: News: Don't panic about Ebola, but please watch this nonstop coverage about how it could spread everywhere and kill you. Don't panic though.
@samalmightysam: God was able to create everything in only 6 days cause he didn't have a woman next to him telling him what color she wanted everything to be
@XplodingUnicorn: My wife and I divided up the important talks we'll have with our daughters. She'll handle puberty, sex, and college. I'll handle zombies.