@MariyaAlexander: Swimming is my favorite recreational activity that's also a desperate attempt not to die
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@EJGomez: "We can't hire you. We're trying to get more diverse" ME: But I'm Hispanic [A bear walks in wearing a fresh Hooters outfit] ME: Aw man
@TheRealNickKay: *LIGHTHOUSE* BATMAN - You call? L/HOUSE KEEPER - Shit, not again man. I am so sorry. BATMAN - Dead seagull on the light? LK -*Nods*
@JohnLyonTweets: Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I'm starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.