@MariyaAlexander: Swimming is my favorite recreational activity that's also a desperate attempt not to die
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@shawnries: Cars should have a thing where if you drive around with your blinker on for too long, they explode.
@NATxHAN: Had a 6" sammich from subway today, and it totally didn't fill me up. I get it now ladies, and I'm so, so sorry.
@mollymcnearney: Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
@slimmy_shady: Tom Cruise has signed on for Mission Impossible V. His impossible mission is trying not to show up on everyone's gaydar.