@robwhisman: [swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@markleggett: Go back in time and kill Hitler as a baby. He'd be so freaked out that a baby is trying to murder him, you'll have the element of surprise.
@thatUPSdude: I'm not saying all my friends are Pot Heads But we did have a 2 hour discussion on how Sponge Bob Grills underwater
@Sean_Burgundy_: My gf always tells me to shower her with compliments, but when I woke her up with the hose while calling her beautiful she yelled at me
@Try2StopME: CAUTION: Even if your wife uses dual a sim phone, save both the number under one name "WIFE". Never save it as "Wife 1" & "Wife 2".