@robwhisman: [swipes debit card] *would you like cash back?* yes [gazes at photo in wallet of steve jobs johnny cash & bob hope, whispers] yes i would
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@BackrowSeats: Burger King's slogan "Have It Your Way" was shortened from "Are You Sure You Wanna Eat This? Ok. Have It Your Way".
@T_Bonezzz_: Her Parents: Tell us how u two love birds met Me: We were in a tweet contest & was added to a DM room & then I gave her a fake trophy HP: ..
@bgirl314: 5: Mommy can we pee in the pool? M: NO! Neighbors kid: Why? M: Because pee mixed with chlorine produces sharks and they'll eat and kill you.