@ChipKellysBalls: Sylvester Stallone is looking more and more like G.I Joe doll put in a microwave on high for twenty minutes
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@notalogin: [God making a planet for the first time and just constantly screwing things up] Ugh, first world problems.
@Reel2Dialog2: Me: *wakes up with a jolt, sweating* Her: omg are you ok?? Me: BABY SPICE WASN'T A BABY SO THAT MEANS SPORTY PROBABLY WASN'T ATHLETIC AT ALL
@TheSanch14: Boss: why do you deserve this promotion? Me: goes into very in depth pointless rant B: what drugs are you on? Me: good ones *leaves*
@onion_an: Therapist: What's the problem? Wife: He makes friends with the strangest things Me [petting a bee]: You're not strange are you Alan