@DirtMcTurd: Taco Bell doesn't have a playground because its hard to have fun when you might shit your pants
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@100percent001: If we both go for the last slice of apple pie at the same time, I will bury my fork in your throat.
@jonnysun: "evreytime god closes a door, he opens a window" - me, tryimg to convince my clients their house isnt haunted
@SatansTongue: *Dentistry school* Here's your final: *stabs student* Why is he bleeding "Because you stabbed him?" FAIL "Because he doesn't floss" CORRECT!