@AnkCoupleTO: Taco Bell wouldn't be so popular if indoor plumbing didn't exist
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@maymay72x: my husband...just pointed out d new strands of hair growing under my chin..... someones not getn laid tonight.
@foodfacenow: Friend: Take my advice, girls love guys with pets *later* Me:*holding a snake to date's face* his name -stop screaming- his name is Carl.
@underchilde: Thanks for telling me to take some ibuprofen for my headache, hotshot. If we're ever in an apocalypse and need a doctor, I'm nominating you!