@robdelaney: Take 1/5th the $ car insurance companies spend on advertising, apply it to health care, and everyone can have golden organs and never die.
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@ramblinma: All these people training for marathons and I'm over here, on my couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger.
@mamamia6212: My 2 yo is currently having the biggest tantrum I've ever seen! He's mad I will not let him open & eat the box of candy* he found. *tampons
@ShawnIzadi: That moment you could pass as an Olympic speed walker because you are racing to the bathroom.
@Andrea__B__: I'm always just a bit disappointed when a liars pants don't actually catch on fire.