@robdelaney: Take 1/5th the $ car insurance companies spend on advertising, apply it to health care, and everyone can have golden organs and never die.
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@Brianhopecomedy: The city I live in has the highest rate of stalkings in Canada. I told a girl at the grocery store this. Then I told her at the gym.
@EricGoldie: I politely asked a woman on my flight if she could put her kid in the overhead compartment & she looked at me like I was crazy or something.
@AndRyanTF: I'm not high! - high people I'm not drunk! - drunk people I'm not lying! - lying people I'm not gay! - my brother
@petemandik: [long ago] A: Ok, so let's mush a tree to pulp and then make flat thingies out of it. B: Great idea. Write that down. A: Where?