@NoogsCorner: Take Dr. Seuss, make him a black midget with chronic asthma and give him access to Urban Dictionary. Behold, Lil' Wayne.
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@caliluvgirl77: If you slowly put your fingers in someone's mouth, they will quit telling you about their day at work.
@dshack8: Newlywed: We can overcome anything, cause we're in love! 10 yrs later: If he leaves time on the microwave again I'm gonna set him on fire.
@ohheyohhihello: Today I drove through a huge puddle that splashed up under my car and laughed to myself as I whispered, "car bidet."
@DanMentos: "none of your ridiculous drink recipes tonight, ok dan?" I promise [later] *stuffing flatbread into blender* WHO WANTS A PITA COLADA