@kevinrowe1: Take it from me. Your wife will not like it if you say, "My twitter girls would do that"
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@joshgondelman: "Why am I not asleep?" he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.
@OnBeingHer: 6: I'm going outside to play. Me: Stay in your own yard. 6: Define "my own yard" Me: .... have fun. So her mother's child.
@deardilettante: The only good thing about people who wear too much cologne is that they're easier to set on fire.
@radstunts: have u ever just taken your goth girlfriend out on a date but it gets dark out and you lose her in the parking lot