@POOPSCRUFFIN4U: ME: My cat isn't overweight; she's just big-boned
VET: This is a dog
@doccy_style: Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they're concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
@TheAlexNevil: Fantasia gave me unrealistic expectations of how much cleaning a bucket and mop would be motivated to do.
@theshantilly: 9: I'm writing a book based on a true story.
Me: Make me look good.
9: FINE. I'll write something else.
@voldemortsbicep: Him: I like meatier girls.
Me: I killed the dinosaurs.
Him: What?
Me: What?
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