@OneFunnyMummy: Take me with you! I shout to every airplane that flies over my house.
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@geekysteven: "Why didn't any of you go back and kill Hitler?" TIME TRAVELER: We prioritized stopping Zortho the Endless Scourge in 1935. "Who?" TT: Bingo
@robdelaney: Man next to to me just said into his phone "You caught me in the middle of a sandwich." He's lying. He is not in a sandwich.
@undeadmolly: A reality show where gay marriage opponents have to live under 100% Biblical laws for six months so they can show us how awesome it is.