@OneFunnyMummy: Take me with you! I shout to every airplane that flies over my house.
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@stacywawa1: The ex just asked me how can one have a soulmate if one has no soul? Wonder which of us he was referring to?
@OhNoSheTwitnt: I bet Lance Armstrong is smugly saying "at least I didn't kill anybody" to like every person he sees today.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Girl from my high school posted on Facebook that she got a "constellation prize" at a church carnival yesterday. She skipped school a lot.
@andreeahluscu: I almost got hit by a car this morning and the scariest part was that my last words would have been "whoa there chap"