@OzCricketFan81: Take my daughter once, shame on you. Take her twice, shame on me. Take her 3 times, and you're ruining the franchise.
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@torrami: Our wifi is down and I had to fap using only my imagination like some kind of savage :(
@Book_Krazy: *Steals parking spot from guy backing in* Him:*middle finger* Me: [rolls down window] I SEE THAT YOU'RE NOT MARRIED. I ALSO AM NOT MARRIED
@TheQuietPsycho: I get caught zipping my pants up while standing beside the turkey just one time, and suddenly she never needs help in the kitchen anymore
@markleggett: If you accept small grammatical errors, decent society collapses and then everyone starts marrying dogs. That's what happened to Australia.