@MadGamer79: Take your ex out tonight (one bullet oughtta do it)
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Cop: What happened? Me: A Smart Car hit one of those little Fiats. Cop: Can you describe the accident. Me: Adorable?
@SamGirlSunday: I don't know about you, but I could really go for a punch in your face right now.
@3sunzzz: Fun Fact: The average 3-year-old boy can stick 11 kernels of corn up his nose before he needs a trip to the ER.