@MadGamer79: Take your ex out tonight (one bullet oughtta do it)
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@flashember: Wife: Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite! Me: Haha funny. [under the mattress] Bed Bug King: TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL *tiny drums bang*
@krisv_723: On Sunday's I Iike to dress as Satan & stand outside of churches, yelling at the parishioners that it's not working & I own their soul.
@50NerdsofGrey: 'Tell me you want me' he ordered. 'I want you' she said. 'Now tell me you need me.' 'I need you' she sighed. She hated calling tech support.