@VampireIguana: Taken 4: How does this shit keep happening
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@joe_binkley: Chopped: College Edition. "In your mystery basket: Ramen Noodles, coffee, crippling debt, a worthless degree. Chefs, you have 30 minutes."
@BartenderMB: My girlfriend said that sex is better on vacation. That wasn't the postcard I was expecting.
@ceejoyner: The other guy on this cliff screaming at the sky just threw his wedding ring over which makes me feel less bad about losing my kite.
@simoncholland: I tried to help by doing my daughter's hair once and a kind old lady offered her a hot meal and a warm place to sleep.