@mydmac: Taken 5: has anyone seen my doggie?
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@Underchilde: My girlfriend told me to “tread lightly.” So when I ran over her, I drove really slow.
@mellimelle: It's the year 2057, humans are shaped like candy canes from years of looking down at their phones. Striped-clothing is always in fashion.
@MooseAllain: In a hotel room. The dog's growling and whimpering. My wife's worried the neighbours will think we're having sex.