@pippydrydocking: *Takes kids for sushi before seeing "Finding Dory"*
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@behindyourback: If you suddenly stand up and shout "IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE" you can walk out of work and not come back and no one will even ask about it.
@nigelgodwin: How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..
@fricken_jess: Cool story bro, needs more dragons and shit - how Game of Thrones started, probably.
@isabelzawtun: When men ask you out, you say no, and they demand an explanation: buddy what is this, high school gym class, do I need to hand you a note from my mom like "sorry Isabel is excused from dating random men on the bus today"