@InThaBurbs: Taking my sunglasses out of 2's hands while he naps in the car is the closest I will come to diffusing a bomb.
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@markleggett: In America she's called "Miley" Cyrus, but in other countries she's called "What America would be like if it were a person".
@withanewname: The last time I danced at a party, someone told me I looked like a wildebeest on a frozen lake.
@graceful_asfuck: Me: oil change plz Toyota: it'll be $39 Me: cool heres my $2 off coupon 4 hrs later T: ur steering wheel fell off total is $2900 sign here