@jimmy_sharpe: Taking vocabulary to a whole new thingy
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@ReneeHooray: Playboy's decision to keep models clothed comes weeks after McDonald's decision to serve breakfast all day.
@joeljeffrey: My dad shouted "shut up idiots" to the cats. I told him "You're speaking English to a cat. You're the idiot. You have to meow at them."
@XplodingUnicorn: My pregnant friends put me in charge of their gender reveal party I can't wait till they pop the balloon & find out they're having a kraken