@Sarcasmo718: Taking your shirt off when fighting is a great way to tell the cops who to arrest.
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@Mr_Kapowski: "Will you marry me?" "The cookie was poison" "The lotto numbers will never win" Examples of why I got fired from writing fortune cookies
@liz_buckley: People laughed when I said I wanted to be a professional snooker player. They're not laughing now because it was ages ago.
@weinerdog4life: I bought a bowflex, it's very confusing, how do I muscles? do I eat it? do I eat the bowflex?
@Celestinelea90: I asked my kids today if they felt we spent enough time together and they both texted back that we did so I guess we are all good.