@NightValeRadio: Talk to the hand. The hand is lonely and needs some company. What are you up to? How's work? You look great. You want some tea?
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@jwoodham: BREAKING: Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys killed instantly by lack of oxygen.
@babyitsmb: I feel like Trump and Hillary are two divorced parents fighting over custody of us but we kinda just wanna go live with grandma.
@TheReal_AndyMac: Money can't buy you happiness. But it can buy you burritos and a Slip N' Slide. So you do the math.
@Shock_Monster: I swear to holy hell, Aunt Pat, I would rather lick a midget's taint than accept your invitation to play Lucky Slots.