@jeffswarens: Talking on your cell during church isn't good, but if you use blue tooth hands free they just think you've got the spirit.
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@NicCageMatch: Overheard a woman telling another woman "It's $150 and she supplies all the turtles" and whatever it is, I'm in.
@DaddyJew: [ cookout ] Me: OMG this ketchup is amazing! Host: yea yea we all know you brought the ketchup
@SwedishCanary: I've requested to be buried in a spring loaded casket filled with confetti so that a future archeologist will have one awesome day at work.