@Tommytoughstuff: [Talking to a giant banana] "Is that a human being in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
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@WilliamRodgers: Robin: Gee Bruce, how come you get to wear dark concealing colors and I have to wear bright Red, Yellow and Green? Batman: You're the decoy
@_chasing_amy: 9 just scolded me at the grocery for buying wine. I told him it was ok, I was 21 to which he loudly responded, Nooo, you're 38. Thanks son.
@meganamram: Don't have money for a cab so I keep calling ambulances and telling them I feel better when I'm close to my destination