@JulieSnark: Tampax needs to extend the string to 2ft so I can hang myself with it every month.
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@mrtruthandsoul: The best thing about sitting next to the white guy with dreads on the bus is no one thinks you're the one that farted
@Mikecanrant: I just farted real loud and my car alarm went off. Some guy is stealing it but I wanted you guys to know about my fart. Be right back.
@MAngelo505: FACT : Half of all missing person reports involve people trying to find their way out of IKEA.