@alispagnola: Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you're better off staying home with no pants on.
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@Bownuggets: Accidentally dropped a magic mushroom in my cats litter box & now he's laying across the driveway staring at the stars & quoting Kierkegaard
@13spencer: A man at a cemetery for Titanic victims claims to have taken a photo of a ghost. The ghost reportedly said "there was room for two people."
@Brampersandon_: We have great news. We're pregnant! -Awesome! Do u know the sex yet? Of course we know 'the sex'. How do u think we got pregnant, silly?