@alispagnola: Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you're better off staying home with no pants on.
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@shawnspree: You know she loves you when you wakeup in a pool of ice in the motel room bathtub with only one kidney removed.
@Pee_And_Giggles: 18: You & I are getting fat bec. u cook so damn good! IT'S.ALL.YOUR.FAULT! I was insulted, complimented, then scolded in under 2.5 seconds.
@huntigula: GOD: it's time I punished the humans again JESUS: cool. flood or plague? GOD:[watching The Apprentice] oh I've something way worse in mind..