@dixie_lee_peas: Tattooes turn an average man into a man to look twice at. If i see ink i know he can handle pain....and that works for me, cause I'm a pain.
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@heidi420x: Me: was I born with a mental disorder? Mom: did you iron a shirt while wearing it again Me: NO Mom: ? Me: I thought pants would be different
@ImABaconDonut: One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth.
@Mr_Kapowski: [helping my kid with contractions] Me: Would've Her: Would have M: Nice. I'll H: I will M: Good. Won't H: Won not M: Excellent