@JB4Realz: Taught my grandmother that "Jabroni" means "fine young man" and it's made our time out in public way more interesting.
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@UncleDuke1969: Government Shutdown: Day 4 3am: Monkey House, National Zoo A door crashes open. A triumphant screech. Ben Stiller escapes into the night.
@DannyZuker: "I did not expect to encounter so many snakes when I booked this flight!" #AwfulFirstDraftDialogue
@JONOCOYOTE: [crime scene] •detective flips open pocket watch• Hmmm...precisely what I thought "What's that sir" •closes watch• It's lunch time