@JennyJohnsonHi5: Taylor Swift tweeted a picture of her cat watching the Olympics and just as I suspected, Taylor's bedroom looks like a giant doily.
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@Cheeseboy22: 7 years ago to this day, I swallowed my gum and broke a mirror, so as you might imagine, this is a pretty big day for me.
@LaniBeno: I don't understand what you mean by 'stop drinking so much'. How else will you know how much I love you at 2am every day?
@timdonakowski: If I ever meet someone who's been in a coma since 2004, I'm trying to sell them a USB drive for $150.