@JennyJohnsonHi5: Taylor Swift tweeted a picture of her cat watching the Olympics and just as I suspected, Taylor's bedroom looks like a giant doily.
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@KeetPotato: barber 1: ugh this guy again, youre doing him this time [20mins later] barber 2: you coulda told me he turns around to answer every question
@JohnLyonTweets: Hey Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me. *Tambourine Man shakes tambourine for several minutes* Well that sucked.
@Shock_Monster: After seeing some of the names on kids these days, you wonder if their parents were going all in for the Triple Word Score.
@SassyPantssss: I just tried to kill a spider with hairspray. He's still alive, but his hair looks outstanding.