@Lord_Voldemort7: Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends should band together to create a compilation album entitled "Maybe it's not us, it's you..."
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@AbiWilks: My toddler just asked me "mummy why do people think falsely attributing quotes to my preschool peers lends their bad opinions authenticity?"
@SmithWit: He said the spark between us was gone, so I tasered him. I'll ask him again when he wakes up.
@cheeky__gal: I think my cats hate people as much as I do. Every time the doorbell rings, they hide under the bed with me.
@Quartzjixler: I requested the number 867-5309 from my cellular provider because I like being annoyed to the point of rage.