@Lord_Voldemort7: Taylor Swift's ex-boyfriends should band together to create a compilation album entitled "Maybe it's not us, it's you..."
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@DaddyJew: Judging by this line at Costco it doesn't look like I'll ever see my family again. Sweet.
@GreenishDuck: Before Google, people had to go out in the alley and yell "WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE MONKEY FROM ALADDIN?" until they got some answers.
@jakehightower34: Oompa Loompa: When you die do we get the factory? Wonka: No, I'll just invite 5 random kids and murder 4. Oompa Loompa: We need a union...