@CarriePotter_: #tbt that time i killed a bug and traumatized a child.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DennisDMZ: At this point, the only guy on the internet that I trust with my personal data is that Nigerian Prince.
@ndmckeown: I keep my friends clothes and my enemies toaster. As a result, they're now all my enemies, but they're naked & having cereal for brekkie.
@Ygrene: [On the phone with the police for the 7th time in 2 weeks] "Sir, again, we cannot arrest your cat"
@senderblock23: (commercial for drugs) Man: Nothing is working out in my life VO: Have you tried drugs? Man: (startled) Who said that Narrator: "Drugs"