@robolollycop: Teach a man to fish and he will evolve to become so skilled at it that he destroys the ocean and kills every last fish. Nice one education.
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@ValeeGrrl: Just when you think parenting can't be any weirder, you find yourself consoling your son, upset that he can't get a squirrel to hug him.
@Marlebean: "Cute shoes! What material is that? Can I feel them?" - I say, reaching under the bathroom stall
@SteussieErica: Husband who is bathing dogs in the bathtub asked if I wanted to join them & I wish I could say this is the weirdest offer I've had all day
@rolldiggity: I bet other insects hate it when they ask a caterpillar how she became a butterfly, and she's all, "Just diet and exercise, guys!"