@doktorj: Teach a man to fish and you'll have a lot more precious time to yourself in a quiet house with no one wanting something every 15 minutes.
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@MrGeorgeWallace: Shout out to the top 5 waters in the world, holy, tap, you can lead a horse to, baby with the bath and bridge over troubled.
@iheartgunts: I’m chunky but I always wear activewear in public so that people think I’m at least doing something about it.
@donni: Guy on this bus just congratulated his friend for having a birthday. Indeed, congratulations are in order for this unique accomplishment
@Matt_The_1st: I may not be able to out run the zombies when they come, but this cheeseburger is going to make me taste great