@Dirty_Naomi: Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TommyKarate: Forgot to open the door before applying hand lotion so now I'm stuck in my restroom forever.
@ProdigyNelson: [date] Her: "Well, the horoscopes pretty much govern my life, I'm a sagittarius, what are you?" Me: *halfway out the door* "Educated."
@Just__J0: Teaching 19 to cook, clean, and do laundry so if he ever gets married his wife won't divorce him and make him my responsibility again.
@TheCiscoKidder: Drive down the middle of my street and make me squeeze by you, so I know who to murder first when the apocalypse hits.