@Dirty_Naomi: Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from the neighbours house is genius.
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@withanewname: Oliver Twist: "Please sir, I want some more!?" Manger: "Kid, you do realize this is a buffet?"
@nbadag: WIFE: can you preheat the oven? ME: you mean heat it WIFE: not this again ME: it can't be heated before it's heated. don't give me that look
@TheBoydP: All I’m saying is when I’m drunk in the backyard I still put my shirt on just like everyone else, one leg at a time...