@stephpaulus: Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor's house is genius.
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@TheBeerGuy73: My therapist said that I needed to find healthier ways of expressing my anger. So I decided to jog home after setting fire to my ex's car.
@JohnLyonTweets: And the cat's in the cradle so the baby must be at the pet groomer's, this is a terrible mix-up.
@jonnysun: ALADDIN: i can show you the world JASMINE: wat why. do u kno that there are people out there. why do u think we live ina palace. no thank u