@stephpaulus: Teaching your dog to fetch a beer is smart. Fetching it from your neighbor's house is genius.
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@kaytaa: Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo". I shouldn't laugh right?
@CrystalTheRed: Laundry Day Me: Tell me about this lipstick on your shirt. Him: Babe, I can explain! Me: Don't care. Just ask her the brand and shade name.
@MollyCocktail: King: Good Knight, how fared thy journey? Knight: 'Twas long and hard King: 'Tis what she proclaimed. Both: *fist bump* -Medieval Brahs
@Demented_Jokes: The first rule of Thesaurus Club is, you don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss, chin wag, natter or chat about Thesaurus Club.