@MadamBetteNoire: Teaching your kids to question everything is important. Until you're sitting there banging your head on the table.
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@iamburtjarvis: [radioshack meeting] employee: sir, overall sales are really low. CEO: when did we start selling overalls, bro?
@Poutymcgee: The cat licks itself and it's cute. I do it and I'm "no longer allowed in the library".
@LoveNLunchmeat: Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
@SingleGirlAlert: Nowhere is it more evident That the middle finger IS a suitable mode of communication Than when driving to work