@simoncholland: *Tears off break away pants as I approach the breakfast buffet*
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@AGreaterMonster: If Twitter adds an edit button you'll retweet "I like kittens" and ten minutes later it'll say "I drink period blood."
@Brampersandon_: FARMER: you ok man? ME (from inside a well I fell into 3 days ago): all is well lol FARMER: lol ME: seriously though I think I broke my leg
@Contwixt: Girl, are you an environmentalist? 'Cuz everytime you walk into a room you turn it into a heavily wooded area.