@AristotlesNZ: Tech support guy asked me to rank my issue as normal, urgent, or extremely urgent. I did a 6min long scream into the phone & let him decide.
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@Parkerlawyer: My internet has been out for 24 hours and now my kids are moving out. That was easy.
@filthyson: How to make-out - 1. Hold her close 2. Kiss passionately 3. Don't mention the budget deficit or your father
@stephenjmolloy: [Date] Karen: "You okay?" Ian: "I'm undressing you in my mind" K: "Okay... you look confused!" I: "I've never seen a bra strap like this"
@LoneWolfStories: Autocorrect changed smell to spell but you know what? Your spelling is horrible too.