@lorigonzalez28: Technically... It's only illegal when you get arrested.
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@flashember: DAUGHTER: Mom asked me to check on you and the eggnog making ME [wrestling a screaming chicken into a blender full of milk]: GRAB ITS LEGS
@julezmac: Football is so cute it's like some guys are like we're gonna get you and one guys like no no no no
@caperbc75: I feel bad for that caveman who invented the wheel because you know his mother-in-law was all "She shoulda married Grog. He invented fire"