@zoebread: technically you're not on fire, the fire is on you. but yes i'll get some water
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@kellymcc0y: When someone spaces out their "ha ha ha's" in a text I read it in Count Dracula's voice
@SaraMansford: Never date a chemist, they seduce you with their magnetism, only call you periodically, then one day: Boom! They Argon.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: Before I play it, I hold the needle from the record and whisper 3..2..1. It's the vinyl countdown.