@warbird622: Teenage son gets academic honors every year in school, yet he can't cut a straight line with a lawnmower. I believe I am being played......
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@50NerdsofGrey: 'I've been a very bad girl,' she said, biting her lip. 'I need to be punished.' 'Very well,' he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop.
@El_nacho_Nigre: If someone catches you doing something inappropriate don't stop, just do it slowly while keeping eye contact.
@pmclellan: I brought my Beats headphones to work, and instead of being left alone, I've had 7 rap battles and am in the finals against A$AP Carol.
@thenoahkinsey: If you didn't wanna hear "Baby smell is biology preventing the mom from eating it," you shouldn't have invited me to the baby shower, Carol!