@PsstCaptain: Teens today have it so easy. We didn't have self-checkout lanes when WE bought condoms.
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@DannyZuker: Bet they weed out lots of people at big city detective school in the jump off building/land on roof of another building class.
@causticbob: My wife must be the slowest reader ever. I bought her a Kindle last Christmas and she still hasn't finished it.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: We’re playing Star Wars. I’m a Jedi and Mom is a stormtrooper. Me: What am I? 4-year-old: In the way.
@bouncerface: Everyone complains about immigration until they're searching the city for a decent taco.