@RandiLawson: Teens, you should not being getting drunk. You're annoying enough as it is
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@Book_Krazy: *Arrives at work 2 hrs late Boss: HR wants to see you about your behavior Me: Well, I literally just got here so it couldn't have been me
@PS_IRuddYou: Just drove past a new typewriter repair shop... That's not a front for anything illegal I'm sure...
@Peauxtassium: I’ve always taught my children that no matter what race or religion, all good looking people deserve respect.
@CM2BTTHD: I just saw my 25-year-old son run water on a slice of pizza to cool it off. I need to sit down.