@torrami: Tell her she's glowing and watch her do the mental math on when her last period was
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@Where__wolf: *covers kids eyes* "Hey Billy, guess who?" "Dad!" "Nope" "I knw its u dad. I know ur voice" "Its not ur dad" "Stop jking" "Ur adopted"
@protolalia: If I were Jesus I would be seriously spooked by all the buildings with giant crosses.
@pizza_dragon: Pony: "I love hay so much I-" Dad: "Why don't you marry it, ya big nerd?" *pony grows up* *becomes Horse Emperor* *legalizes hay marriage*
@daemonic3: Is this your resume? "Yep" It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away "Oh yes" Welcome to UPS!