@torrami: Tell her she's glowing and watch her do the mental math on when her last period was
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@BackrowSeats: It won't be the alcohol or cigarettes that kill me. It'll be me laughing at an inappropriate time.
@TheBoydP: [Newlywed Game] Bob Eubanks: Describe your wife as an animal Me: *flips card* Owl Wife: Who? Me: You Wife: Who? *Bob and I high five*
@Kalarlis: hi rappers i have been shaking dat ass all night and i am exhausted can you make a song about sitting and watching tv at a reasonable volume