@slimmy_shady: Tell me twitter, just how the f am I similar to a Buick dealership?
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@Brentweets: So nice of the Oscars to give this tribute to Selma then not nominate it for anything
@AnkCoupleTO: [college career fair] Me: I cheated my way through school, lied to professors & learned nothing, FML *CIA recruiter hires me on the spot*
@WilliamAder: I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me.