@Lexi__Alexandra: "Tell me why I shouldn't report you to HR?" The doctor yelled at me when I used the defibrillator wrong. "I don't work here" I yelled back.
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@jwoodham: BREAKING: Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys killed instantly by lack of oxygen.
@JaneBadall: Online relationships - For when you want to be disappointed by imaginary people, too.
@KimJungilSpirit: 4yo doctor visit: Doc: no more than 30 mins for 4yo on the iPad. I'd rather he play with mud. Me: .. Wife:.. Me: where do u download mud?